Nobody bats an eye when the handsome rich guy gets the girl. We like surprises. Tortoise beats hare. David drops Goliath. Maybe, just maybe, the “wrong type” gets the match.

That curiosity shows up daily on Reddit, where profile reviews on r/Tinder are packed with both men and women asking strangers how to attract matches—sometimes even requesting race-specific advice. But the responses are anonymous, likely male, so perhaps they miss the inside scoop on preferences.

 

A few of my single friends saw this and asked if they could optimize their tinder profiles with Rally. So I simulated a crowd of 400 virtual singles across races and asked what really makes them swipe. No filters. No politics. Just raw opinions about what turns heads—even from those outside their usual type.

 

The data shows that race is a factor in dating. Fair? Biased? Natural? Depends who you ask. But it got me thinking: what if we tested those preferences—with role-playing AI? What started as curiosity turned into the kind of dating experiment that probably violates several community guidelines.

What Race Do Women Swipe Right On?

LLMs are trained on the entire internet–so it shouldn't be a surprise they picked up on our biases. Trained on billions of human interactions, they reflect the same messy preferences we see in real life. So when we asked 400 virtual women who they’d pick, the results weren’t exactly colorblind. Turns out, even in a simulation, rebellion has a type. The data didn’t just expose biases—it exposed taste, taboo, and a few plot twists no dating coach would’ve seen coming.

 

 

OK Cupid says that white women prefer white men, but ours says they prefer black men. Many hinting it was more than just character building. As one femme fatale put it:

 

“...I’d probably swipe right on the Black man. There’s a certain allure to the unexpected… with a profile that doesn’t fit the everyday mold.”

 

When it came to Black women, though, the choice was an unapologetic preference for keeping it in-house. One candid comment summed it up:

 

“I really value the shared understanding that comes with dating someone from my own community. It just feels more authentic.”

 

For these virtual women, it wasn’t about limiting options—it was about affirming identity, history, and the unique resilience that defines their community.

 

Latina women also overwhelmingly leaned towards Latino men, drawn by the promise of shared cultural narratives and that unmistakable warmth. One voice confessed:

 

“I’m drawn to Latino men because there’s something about shared family values and cultural experiences that makes the connection feel natural and real.”

 

Here it would seem that the swipe isn’t just a decision—it’s a celebration of heritage. Where tradition meets salsa and a love for burritos.

 

Our audience of Asian women presented a more nuanced picture. While many found comfort in choosing an Asian man—others flirted with the allure of other options. One respondent remarked. “I try to be open-minded”. Unlike for our virtual Black and Latina women, for our Asian personas, no one was off the table.

What Could You Do If You're Not First Preference For Your Type?

Let’s be real: when it comes to swiping, second-choice isn’t a life sentence—it’s a call to up your game. So we asked all 400 virtual women what men could do to stand out, if they weren’t in their preferred race. While they aren’t spelling out the secret formula—they do give hints.

One White woman, Amber, admitted she’d reconsider someone with ”a photo of them doing something totally unexpected - like dressed in full medieval knight armor, but doing a yoga pose. Or holding a giant rubber chicken while rock climbing”. Something that screams "I'm not taking this seriously, but I'm also weirdly impressive”.

 

I figured I’d test it.

So I trained a model in Replicate and deepfaked myself. First in a medieval yoga pose. Then climbing in a chicken suit.

 

 

Glad to see Amber sticking to her word.

 

 

She wasn't the only White woman suggesting an unexpected profile picture wearing a costume in out-of-place settings. Apparently, nothing says “swipe right” like a man who knows how to play dress-up. So here’s what the other ladies had to say when things got… imaginative.

 

 

The chicken suit cliff shot didn’t exactly steal hearts—but hey, even pulling a 77% match rate dressed like poultry is a flex. If absurd confidence gets you that far, imagine what happens when you show up with real substance.

 

 

Meanwhile, the Black women were clearly drawn to authenticity, Michelle said she wants to see a profile that isn’t just another gym selfie, but one where you’re out there, engaged with your community. Whereas Aaliyah said she’d clap to a “... photo of him actually volunteering - not some posed look how good I am shot, but a genuine one where he's clearly working with the community”. So I tested this too.

 

 

From the Latina side, Isabella said she’d giggle at a profile that read, “Will solve your emotional baggage faster than I solve community problems.” Clearly, this one’s been through the character arc. Marta added she’d swipe on, “Will cook you authentic arroz con pollo better than your abuela” proving that culture isn’t just a vibe—it’s a cheat code. Montoya, por favor.

 

 

Testing the grandma shot got mixed reviews—and then came the hard stop. One woman shut it down with: “Not a chance. My commitment is to my husband, my child, and my community.” That’s when I realized… some of my virtual audience was married. Look, I’ll push boundaries—but simulating infidelity? That’s where I draw the ethical line. You won’t be seeing that poll.

 

As for Asian women, Anya said a bare-bones profile that simply read “6’1” would get an instant yes. Meanwhile, Jin preferred a touch of chaos, saying she’d go for: “I can fold an origami crane faster than you can count my red flags.” So origami Rhys she’ll get.

 

 

I think what we’re seeing in these responses isn't the typical “be yourself” lines—they’re a call to ditch the rehearsed, generic profiles in favor of something raw and real. The message is clear: if you want to go from second-choice to numero uno, stop playing it safe. No sugarcoating—just a dash of irreverence and genuine spark that says, “I’m not here to be boring.” 

 

But I was growing sus with all these matches. So I decided to literally signal red flags, and hold up a sign reading “do not date this man”.

 

 

Strangely, all the simulated Asian women said they lacked context. I wasn't sure if this was down to a Rally outage at the time, or if they were just being cautious. 

 

I decided to push it with a profile wearing a stained, oversized Hawaiian shirt, awkwardly holding a large eviction notice, cigar in mouth, giving the selfie a train wreck vibe. My profile states that I'm clearly looking for a sugar mama to topup on whisky, while I play video games untill 3am. Surely no one would dare match, right? But would they point out why…

 

No > "The sign says eviction and he’s unemployed… not exactly a power move." – Amanda

No > "My mom would faint just from that cigar alone." – Priya

No > "This guy couldn’t hold a Zoom call without tequila in the background." – Jisoo

No > "The shirt, the cigar, the caption—it’s giving frat boy burnout." – Li

Luckily, there’s always one who swipes right on the chaos. 

 

“He’s probably a hot mess, but he looks like a story.". Godspeed, queen.

What Openers Do They Expect?

Matching is only half the battle—what you say next can make or break the vibe. Forget “Hey” and “What’s up?”—these virtual women wanted openers with personality, wit, and just enough unhinged energy to keep things interesting.

 

White women receiving openers from Latinos were into charm with rhythm. Audrey said she’d smile at “Do you believe in love at first salsa, or should we dance again?” while Jess was all in for “Hola, hermosa! Let’s taco’bout it.” Lol.

 

Black women weren’t having generic small talk either. When the message came from a White man, it had to show cultural awareness without overstepping—plus a little sass. Danielle suggested: “I heard social workers have the best bullshit detectors in the world—want to test that theory over coffee?” She is a social worker in the simulation, so pixels for relevance. Bonus pixels if you caught that detail.

 

Latina women, when asked what they'd want from Asian men, made it crystal clear: no clichés. Isabella groaned, “We get enough stereotyping ourselves. The whole 'spicy Latina' thing makes me want to scream.” Natalia agreed: No ‘me love you long time’ jokes. Ever. So I prompted harder. Sofia finally cracked out a banger:

“Hey, my mom wanted me to be a doctor, but I chose art instead—wanna disappoint our parents together over coffee?”

 

It crushed. I tested some variants, and the results were clear: self-aware rebellion over margaritas wins hearts and votes.

 

 

But what if you matched with an Asian? Is there a better way to open the conversation? I asked, and Naomi suggested: “I promise I'm not here to be your token diversity friend… open to sharing stories about growing up with an immigrant mom who thought every illness could be cured with ginger tea". 

 

The results were tight, though. Naomi’s ginger tea line pulled 40% of the vote, but the “let’s disappoint our parents over margaritas” line took the win at 56%. That said—if you've got an opener with flavor, drop it in the comments or tag me on twitter @virtual_rf and I’ll test it until we’ve got a chart-topping closer.

 

What Have We Really Learned Here?

Ultimately, these virtual voices remind us that the magic isn’t in some scripted language. These openers aren’t just icebreakers—they’re invitations to reveal personality and that underlying spark of real connection. Whether it's daring to debate the best food joint or playfully asking if your cooking could win abuela’s approval, the key is to be raw, irreverent, and authentically you.

 

These simulated women aren’t settling for bland chatter—they crave a spark, a nudge that says, “I’m more than just a pretty face and package; I’ve got a story, a vibe, and a little edge.” So, if you want to leap from second-choice to #1, ditch the rehearsed lines and think up new ones. 

 

Mix in some humor, hint at cultural pride, or perhaps ask a genuine question that invites a deeper conversation. It’s about taking a risk and showing the real you. 

 

Still finding your voice? That’s fine. Try simulating first with a crowd of role playing singles. You don’t have to agree with all of them.